I was a Queen, it was then... (Monologue)

I was a Queen, it was then... 

It was the end, they shot him, we had a wonderful dream and that was all…

Delphinium leaning on the aureate gate, asters twisting around the benches. Flowers were blossoming, the sun glared out from the bright blue sky – every day I wake up, with brioches; macaroons; croissants and crystal clear flute served on my gilded console table.

My everyday routine is simple to be said. Simplistic designed tiled floors and inlaid taps,

with a special herbal blend with my copper glazed tub, ready to be bathed and the gown was made of English linen and buttoned up to the neck, topping up with silk covered crinoline and pale ashen perukes with my faired skin. Luxury.

Most of the time, actually, every day I read, unlike the others, my life was trapped in a mirrored prison, what makes me happy? Books! And no one truly loves me, everyone was forced to love you, my entire existence is to help the country itself to gain more authoritative within the European estate so as my sisters, therefore since I was little I was seen as a property to my very own country, or should I say – a product?

However, it was about to come to an end, travelling solely as an immigrant to France, miles away from where I was born. It was a thrust upon the throne at seventeen, and little time to prepare for the arduous roles a naive girl such as myself faced. All I wanted and needed was love, a childhood of mine was stolen. And standing upon my own ground, I do but take responsibility for the course of my own actions, not those in which the court has accused me of. Yes, it is true the fact I have led an extraordinary lifestyle; I have heard it all, I have seen it all and I chose to ignore it all.

One day, the gate was opened, more than one gate, we were terrified of the sound of anger so as he, thin-lipped and I could feel the cold within him. ‘Louis!’ I cried. Louis is gone before me. I too followed his footsteps, following all the punishments that he has left for me to redeem. Red on white. I was a fallen angel.

I have never imagined it will end up a tragedy, for all to end so savagely. So cold outside, so blank and grey and unfeeling, untouched. Centuries of rule gone, the streets of Paris running red with blood, it was torn from the crying poor, and I still feel nothing, and it weighs so heavily upon me. The tumbril door opens. Did Louis step here also? Did his death’s feet pave the way for mine?

I trip, I stumble step on the executioner’s left foot. I look up at him, he looks rather unkindly on me, he cries out in pain for a moment, I realised I have caused many problems to make the people suffer, I was the centre of everyone’s pain, particularly in France, the problem will never be solved until they cut me off. So many watching, if I were naked it would be no less violating, it would make no difference, maybe I should strip now just to defy them all, no don’t be stupid, you die with a sense of dignity, die as a Queen even though a crown was taken off but I will leave a mark on history, I want to die all with dignity don’t give them the satisfaction…my head tells me I should have no such care because I will be dead anyways, I try to take a deep breath but the air seems stoppered completely, an anvil on my chest.

Starvation; War; Incest; Murderer of the country they say and once I was the top of the world, now I have fallen, and you took away my crown; a wife, and you killed my husband; a mother, and you deprived me of my children. . . Only the gentle love of a mother can bear the wounds I so agonisingly possess. For a mother, who so lovingly and tenderly doted upon her own children, to be accused of such hideous crimes as incest? My neck was then locked, skin was scattered with scars. , don’t rest your hands on my dress, I said, the combination feels uncomfortably stark, white on white, all is pale in the darkness, stop it, and stop thinking of it, knowing…why did I choose white? Knowing the dress will make the blood stain all the more visible, I realise that soon I will know. I tremble like a leaf.

Don't be mainstream! 'TRAVEL BLOG'

My extraordinary life! To one of the world’s most exciting forest!

The sun rises from the East, shining bright across the Amazon River, as known as home to over 3000 species natural habitats where they crawl and slay little puny midgets.

The Amazon Forest, situated in South American and it is often described as a ‘dangerous place’, a place that it is very unusual If the guardian or parent’s taking little monsters – referring to mischievous kids here. So what experience was it like? Dangerous, dangerous and dangerous I suppose!

Unexpected.  That’s how I would describe Amazon as a place that has kept its tradition, though has been said many random species will come and bite little kids! – Ouch! Often being described as a ‘threatening’ ‘dangerous’ ‘mysterious place that if you get lost no one could come and find you’ and so much more. Amazon is definitely not the most recommended place in the world to go on a family trip with your monkeys if they don’t behave well. So what was my experience then?

Tough, but enjoyable.

This is the furthest and probably the toughest challenge I have been ever taken in my life, visiting  a place where you can get slaughtered to many different ways that you wouldn’t even expected how ‘they’ will be doing it.

Touch the poison dart frog, I dare you if you want to become the parody of sleeping beauty, or should I say a meal to be? – ah!

Walking down alongside the river bend as the shallow water rushing and flushing down so quickly, water splashes and hits the rock like they’re having a fight, this is extremely necessarily looking after little monkeys as they might end up the piranha’s meal.

Gero tours - walking unsteadily on bamboos; bamboo sticks everywhere; birds singing; actively hot during the day and cold as the Antarctica at night due to rapidly change in the climate, hot and humid. It could lead to dehydration if you don’t drink a plenty of waters, even though water is available anytime due to there is a ‘river’ but be careful as it may be lice’s looming inside the water – Yuck! Devil and the deep blue sea, water splashes, shocking, and unconsciousness...carnivores lurking around the edge, a sick and dying manatee’s had been taken down and finished off by a school of ravenous piranha during the dry season when they are notoriously aggressive. From miles away you can hear my tacky voice – apparently shouting was a definite action in this trip because you will never know what will happen to you next in terms of you might be followed by trillions of bullet ant, who knows?’

The next following morning we were strolling down the forest – the smell of the species richness’s in the biodiversity, green; red; blue – so colourful and tall gigantic attention-getting tree trunks within a maze-like forest, and the monsoon rain could drag down these brutal trunks, where you had to jump in and out and not to fall. Keep your balance.  ‘How am  I going to conserve this place?’– the question throws me into a thought of , indeed it is extraordinary to see such things especially we live in the inner cities  where nature has been buried alive and unrevealed due to civilizations – or never be able to reveal. Shocking.

 As we reached down an unknown forest, greeting the natives with their house being built on branches, sounding so dramatic and satisfying as there are over 30 different of them living in such awe-inspiring environment – blue fronted amazon; spectacled owls; hyacinth macaw as they are looking very glamorously for the ‘Carnival do Brazil’ or more like a haute couture being held in the forest.  It  seems like an animated film being brought to life whereas they are so amazed of Mother Nature’s creation.

As the weeks goes by we finally reached our final destination ‘Meetings of waters’, standing between the dark Rio negro and pale sandy coloured Rio Solimões, learning about the reasons behind the river colourations, made myself appreciated what I have learnt from their chemistry class in school, great opportunity on applying knowledges in nature. I was very surprised that they were fighting over trying to explain the idea behind to me. Amazon isn’t just an ordinary place, it is a place that stretches your children’s mind.

Being mainstream isn’t good, visit some other countries and be an extraordinary family unlike the others.

We were stayin' in Paris, getting away from our parents!

 Paris - city of love ...or is it?

An untold story I would like to share with the others.

The sun rises from the east, shining bright across Paris, as known as the capital of France, whereas millions of visitors came to visit every year.

They flock to the city, visit the Eiffel tower, her legs are strong, standing still in the central of the city, smiling towards everyone who walks beneath her...The sorrow in her face has told me being strong all the time isn't beneficial at all...

I flew all the way from the United Kingdom, landed dramatically seeing Paris, one of the world's greatest city (as an Alpha city), nonetheless food, fashion and arts, nothing in the world could compare with the greatest collections they have in the Museum de Louvre.

Walked around, faded away.

I came to the city with tears, saddened the day would be the night for me here, closing my eyes hearing my heart beats fast... realizing I stand no position in his heart. 

Alongside the river seine, water flushes away quickly and gently - reflection from the surface of the water showed me my drained face... showing sorrow on the face, bitter within the mouth but not willing to speak up.

Alone, unknown, back stooped, hands crossed.

I will never be able to see the glow of his face, cheeks or smile because I am just an anonymous to him, we used to be so close, however, tightened by a loose string... 

She asked where do you want to go, and he follows.

I stand alone, alone. seeing your face with happiness.

He was my north, south, west and east, she tore everything apart all I left was memories in my brain, maybe long term memories?

I had the chance of confessing myself, but would he even be able to listen to everything I say, especially his heart clings to the girl he likes... Standing in front of the Tour de Eiffel, crying with a resentful, remorseful and regretful feeling.

Heart full of unsatisfactory, asking myself 'Why, I was supposed to be the girl you're hugging', strolling down an alleyway in floods with tears.

I say Goodnight, he says Goodbye coldly.

KELSEY XOXO

Berlinale - Berlin's International Film Festival

THANK YOU #AUDIBERLINALE AND #BERLINALEMOMENTS

An absolute honour to be invited by Audi DE to the Audi VIP Lounge to experience something I have never dreamed about it.

Walking on red carpets, waving at famous movie stars and film directors.

Definitely an unforgettable experience and luxurious moment to remember.

An opportunity for me to meet different people, I spoke to a few journalists which they came from Franc, Italy and Portugal.

I was stood there with a cool toned face, very shy until they started to approach me haha.

Berlinale Palast - 2/09/2017 - 2/19/2017

This is no joke, the news reporter was in front of me

Free drinks in Audi lounge, as it was very very cold and dry.

The lounge is situated outside so it was freezing, but I am so glad free hot drinks were given.

I order a small pint of Apple Ginger Juice. 

Next stop - VENICE FILM FESTIVAL? 

Kelsey xoxo